


Honey You Are the Rock (Upon Which I Stand)

by ThreeWhiskeyLunch



Series: Green Eyes [1]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Fix-It, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Nihlus Kryik Lives, Rare Pairings, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23155858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeWhiskeyLunch/pseuds/ThreeWhiskeyLunch
Summary: For two years, Spectre Nihlus Kryik has mourned Commander Shepard. But when a chance encounter on Freedom's Progress leads him to believe Shepard might be alive, the memories come flooding back.A Nihlus Kryik fix-it fic. Because Nihlus deserves better.
Relationships: Nihlus Kryik/Male Shepard
Series: Green Eyes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664518
Comments: 23
Kudos: 37
Collections: Spectre Requisitions 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ellebeedarling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellebeedarling/gifts).



> Green Eyes  
> by Coldplay 
> 
> Honey you are a rock  
> Upon which I stand  
> And I come here to talk  
> I hope you understand  
> That green eyes  
> Yeah the spotlight, shines upon you  
> And how could anybody deny you  
> I came here with a load  
> And it feels so much lighter  
> Now I met you  
> And honey you should know  
> That I could never go on without you  
> Green eyes  
> Honey you are the sea  
> Upon which I float  
> And I came here to talk  
> I think you should know  
> That green eyes  
> You're the one that I wanted to find  
> And anyone who tried to deny you  
> Must be out of their mind  
> Because I came here with a load  
> And it feels so much lighter  
> Since I met you  
> And honey you should know  
> That I could never go on without you  
> Green eyes  
> Green eyes  
> Oh oh oh oh  
> Oh oh oh oh  
> Oh oh oh oh  
> Honey you are the rock  
> Upon which I stand

**Freedom’s Progress 2185**

A small ship settles down onto a dusty outcropping of rock, just above the human settlement that rests below in a peaceful valley. An unsettling quiet lingers in the air, mixing with the scent of dust and blood, a quiet that unsettles the turian as he steps from his ship onto the ground. With sure steps, he ducks low, moving behind buildings until he finds a ladder up to a roof. Carefully he crawls to the ledge, withdrawing his sniper rifle from the maglock on his back and bringing the sight up to peer into the hazy darkness. The village stands devoid of any life, a graveyard without bodies; cold, lifeless, and bleak. Street lights shine down through the haze, spotlighting empty circles on the sidewalks, motes of dust settling and swirling in the still air.

The turian barely breathes as he scans building after building, looking for any sign of life. Finally, through a darkened window, a shadow moves, followed by several more. He recognizes the silhouette of quarians and tracks them as they exit the building and round a corner out of sight. He keeps the sight on the spot they vacated for a few moments before the sound of a shuttle draws his attention, circling overhead in the empty courtyard directly in front of him. The heat from the shuttle’s exhaust hits his face as it lands, blowing dust up in swirling eddies. The hatch opens a moment later, three human silhouettes stepping down.

The man in front peers around in the dark, his blue eyes reflecting the light in a brief flash. The turian’s breath catches in his throat as he adjusts the lens, attempting for a tighter view. The lens swims in and out of focus for a frustrating second as he steadies his suddenly shaking hands. But there’s no mistaking the human that stands there— _alive_ —and then turns and walks away, drawing his rifle as the other two follow close behind.

“Shepard,” Nihlus Kryik gasps.


	2. Chapter 2

**Eden Prime 2183**

The dig site is expansive, and some of the damage slows Nihlus as he moves between buildings and wreckage. He comm’s Shepard with updates as he sees fit, aware of them somewhere behind him and the occasional burst of gunfire. A nervous sort of anxiousness settles in his gizzard when he sees the burnt out buildings. Whatever happened here can’t have been good for the settlers. The obvious evidence of how recent whatever happened has happened makes him all the more aware that whoever—whatever—did this is probably still close by.

The answer to _that_ question is quickly answered when he hears a computer-generated whir from somewhere off to his right and sees the distinctive headlamp of what can only be geth. Geth. Here. His mind whirls with possible reasons, but no answer is immediately forthcoming. What would the geth want with an ancient Prothean artifact?

He slips through behind the buildings, cautious of the strange spikes and whatever their purpose might be, and heads for the space port. If someone is trying to get the artifact off-planet, then that’s more than likely where they’ll take it. He can hear rifle fire again somewhere behind him, but closer than before. They’re travelling fast, must surely have found the empty spot where the artifact had once stood. He doesn’t wait, moving on towards the space dock.

Movement up ahead slows him down, wary of any geth that might be around. Someone paces back and forth, their back to Nihlus. He ducks down behind a crate, checking his back first before leaning around and seeing—

“Saren?” His mandibles drop in surprise, but then he pulls them back in, taking a step forward toward the other Spectre.

Saren turns at his name, piercing blue eyes pinning him in place. “Nihlus.” His name on Saren’s tongue is, as always, somewhere between threat and seduction. Saren can never seem to decide if he wants to fuck him or kill him, and Nihlus has never knowingly given the other turian cause to make a decision either way. Something about Saren Arterius has never sat right with Nihlus. Him being here now tweaks at his gizzard.

“This isn’t your mission, Saren. What are you doing here?”

Saren steps toward him, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. “The council thought you could use some help on this one.” He continues on past Nihlus, his hand dropping down off his shoulder.

Something pulls at him, a thought he can’t quite get a fix on, that swims illusively from his grasping attempts. “I wasn’t expecting to find the geth here,” Nihlus says, looking up toward the rail line. And then that thing clicks into place and he wonders why Saren hadn’t alerted him to the fact that he was also on Eden Prime. “The situation’s bad.”

“Don’t worry,” Saren says from behind. “I’ve got it under control.”

The loud retort of a sniper rifle snaps the air in half. Something hits Nihlus’ back and he turns to see Saren grasping his hand, blood dripping through his fingertips. Nihlus recognizes Saren’s pistol laying at his feet, splattered with blood.

“He had his gun!” Shepard’s head pops up from behind a rock just up the hill. “Aimed at your head!” Alenko emerges from behind the rock, rifle at the ready. Another soldier Nihlus doesn’t recognize appears also. The three of them walk steadily toward the dock. “Step away, Kryik!”

Nihlus takes a step backward, his mandibles dropped in shock. “Saren—?”

For one brief moment, Saren looks at him with desperation and anguish, but then it’s wiped away by Saren’s usual mask of self-assured determination. “You’re a fool if you think these humans will save you.”

The pistol is smooth in his hand as Nihlus picks it up, testing its weight. “Looks like they already did.” He points the pistol at Saren.

Blue biotics swirl around Saren’s hand and with a _whump_ of air pressure, Nihlus is thrown backward as easily as if he were a simple blade of grass. He hits the ground and slides on his carapace several meters. “Shit—”

Shepard shouts, “Geth!” as gunfire erupts and Nihlus struggles to his feet, clods of dirt stuck in his armor. “Stop Saren!” Shepard directs Alenko with a wave and Nihlus watches as biotic energy swirls around Alenko’s body. As the energy reaches his fingertips, Alenko’s shoulder jerks back and he hits the ground, grasping with his other hand at his shoulder.

“Kaidan! Damnit—” Shepard’s attempt to run for the downed man is thwarted as more geth appear from around the corner and he returns just as quickly back behind the crate he’d been using for cover. “Kryik! Williams! Suppressive fire!”

“I’m alright, Commander—” Alenko attempts to stand, but then rolls back to lay on the ground. “Okay, um, got the wind knocked outta me.”

“Sit tight, Kaidan. We’ll get you out of there.” Shepard points at Williams, who lays down a steady stream from her rifle.

As he pulls a grenade from his belt, Nihlus takes a moment to admire Shepard’s skills as a military leader. Witnessing his abilities in person only cements Nihlus’ thoughts about making the commander a Spectre. It’s a good look on Shepard. He lobs the frag grenade into a cluster of geth, sending them flying as Shepard pulls Kaidan to safety behind a crate. From behind the geth, he can see Saren running along the rail line and disappearing from view. “He’s getting away, Shepard!”

Shepard mutters under his breath. “Williams, stay with Kaidan. Nihlus, you’re with me.” And then he springs out from behind the crate while Nihlus finishes off the last few climbing the stairs. “Which way?”

“Up the tracks. There must be a train car further along.”

There are, in fact, more geth further along, which slows them painfully. Shepard picks off several of them from behind him with his sniper rifle while Nihlus tosses a few more grenades. He has barely a moment to admire Shepard’s prowess with the rifle before they reach the end of the platform. The rails stretch off into the distance and around a corner out of sight. There’s no sign of Saren.

“Away we go, then,” Shepard says and presses the train's activation button.


	3. Chapter 3

**Freedom’s Progress**

  
Later, staring down at Shepard’s still body on the medbay bed, Nihlus had wondered what might have happened had it been him, rather than Shepard, to have been drawn into the beacon. Or if he could have prevented...whatever it was that had happened from happening in the first place. He’d been distracted, radioing in to the Normandy for a pick-up, his back to Shepard, when a tingling thrill of electrical energy had sparked down his spine and he’d turned to see Shepard engulfed in a green glow from the beacon, head between his hands as if in agony and then— 

And then, Nihlus would come to find that everything changed.

Throughout the time he’d spent on the Normandy chasing Saren and bringing him to justice (or as much of it as one could given the circumstances), Nihlus never envied Shepard’s connection with the beacon. Ever after, there was a strain behind his eyes, even after Liara had attempted to help, as if unwelcome knowledge had been imparted to him that he couldn’t forget, couldn’t sidestep, couldn’t escape. Yes, Nihlus wonders. But more he is thankful. That it wasn’t him. That he hadn’t had to carry that burden for an entire galaxy.

The way Shepard had withstood the strain with grace and resolve had undone Nihlus’ heart until he laid it out at Shepard’s feet, unable to think of anything else, anyone else.

That Shepard had picked up all the threads of his heart and held them gently in his calloused palms had been Nihlus’ true undoing. Shepard had never asked for anything, not his loyalty, not his love. Certainly not Nihlus’ help in becoming the first human Spectre. Nihlus had given all these things freely, with no remorse beyond that he could have given more. Could have told Shepard exactly how he felt. But there had always been more time. One more day and one more day until, suddenly, there wasn’t.

Even now.

Two years after Commander Shepard’s death.

Nihlus finds the embers in his spirit-damned soul sparking anew into near-pain intensity and it’s all he can do to remain where he is, to not call out, to not rush down and crush the man in his arms. The insignia on the shuttle and the other two humans’ uniforms is the only thing that gives him pause. He vividly remembers their experiences with the organization before and Shepard’s reaction, his growing hatred towards a group that only seemed to have the interests of Earth on their agenda.

Cerberus.

Why?

He narrows his eyes as he watches the trio disappear around the corner, bringing up his omnitool. There’s far more to this story than meets the eye and he’s determined to find out what.

* * *

  
**Whitsunday Island, Australia 2183**

He’d promised Shepard a beach, so he takes him to a beach. White sands and deep blue water that matches Shepard’s eyes. Their cabin sits back among the trees, sheltered from the beating sun. In the early mornings, they can hear the waves crash on the shore while the trees above whisper in the wind and dappled sunlight hits the white curtains.

On the fifth morning, Shepard rises early while Nihlus is still face-planted in his pillow, drifting somewhere between asleep and not-quite awake. Nihlus listens as Shepard shuffles to the bathroom and then hears the chime of an incoming message to Shepard’s omnitool. Minutes later, Shepard returns to bed, sliding under the sheets until he’s pressed up against Nihlus, one leg draping over his thigh. By now, Nihlus is fully awake, eyes still closed, but alert to the rhythm of Shepard’s breathing and the small movements of his fingers as he strokes Nihlus’ carapace.

Quiet minutes tick by while Nihlus waits Shepard out, drifting in that sort of hazy halfness where his mind slides into darkness, but his subconsciousness is still alert. He’s grateful for the opportunity to just do nothing after the insanity of the last few months.

“They’re sending us into the Traverse,” Shepard says eventually. “To look for Geth.”

“Geth?”

“Mm.” Shepard splays his hand fully over Nihlus’ back, the tips of his fingers pressing in slightly. “I report in three days.”

Nihlus sighs and turns his head to look at Shepard. “So much for your four-week furlough.”

“Indeed. To be honest, I’m surprised they gave me this long before they let me know.” He shifts slightly, the sheets rustling over their bodies. His voice is resigned as he says, “Duty calls.” And even with that, there is a determination to Shepard’s jaw that Nihlus finds irresistible and always has. He is a force to be reckoned with.

“It’s a fool’s errand,” Nihlus says. The geth have returned to the Perseus Veil as far as all of his contacts have been able to tell. But he supposes the Alliance wants to be safe rather than sorry.

“They’re sticking their heads in the sand. Which I guess I understand. Death machine AI somewhere lurking out in dark space just waiting for the right time to strike? It’s a terrifying thought. But some rogue geth, should any be found, it’s easy to point to to ease any public panic.” He sighs and goes quiet, lost in thought.

But they still have three days. There’ll be time enough for rumination later. Nihlus hums, his subharmonics vibrating. Shepard notices immediately, his eyes flashing up to look at Nihlus. A slow smile curls his lips up, his eyes wrinkling at their corners.

“No time to waste, then,” Shepard says. He hooks his leg higher across Nihlus’ ass, muscles tightening as he draws their bodies together.

“Add ‘mind-reader’ onto all your other many talents.”

Shepard leans forward and kisses him.


	4. Chapter 4

Baerpar Donik works the game store kiosk at the Citadel and is also one of the best hackers Nihlus has ever had a chance to encounter. Baerpar, or Bearpaw—a nickname given by the humans that stuck with more than a little help from Baerpar himself, manages to find a backdoor into several Cerberus servers. “Massive amount of credits going to something called The Lazarus Project,” Bearpaw tells him over his omnitool. “On a space station, but I can’t find a location. The amount of resources going into it could raise and outfit an entire army,” he says, voice breathless with admiration. “They’ve got some of the best human scientists on genetics, bone weaves, plastic surgery, internal medicine and oh, wow! Some sort of 3D organ printer that looks off the charts!”

“Who’s in charge of all this?”

Bearpaw taps at his computer for a minute before answering, “Miranda Lawson is listed as director. She joined Cerberus several years ago. Very smart. Biotic. What some humans might call a knock-out. Someone calling himself The Illusive Man is head of Cerberus. Facial recognition brings up a name: Jack Harper. Looks like he’s ex-Alliance. Very pro-human, very anti-everyone else. I’ll send you what I can find on him. There’s some pretty heavy financial lifters backing this whole thing, although Cerberus seems to be making credits through several different companies, holdings, and foundations. They have their fingers in a lot of pies.”

Nihlus grows deep in his chest. “Alright. Send me what you find. The usual fee?”

“Add on two thousand. There was some heavy encryption I had to get around.”

“Hardly a match for you, I’m sure.” He sends the credits to Bearpaw willingly and signs off. The salarian has saved him more than just time on many occasions.

His inbox is quickly flooded with files and he picks the one labelled Lazarus first, skimming down through the lengthy list of personnel, invoices for machinery, security mechs, not to mention a hefty list of medical equipment. Included in amongst all the information, he finds several directives from the The Illusive Man, and one in particular that catches his attention.

> _“When in doubt, do not procure for longevity. Once the objective has been achieved, equipment from the station can be disbursed for other uses. My concern is first and foremost Subject A’s complete reconstruction.”_

Gunfire in the distance distracts him for a moment. He glances toward the sound, recognizing the pounding of heavy mech missiles. He contemplates investigating, but decides if that really is Commander Shepard he just saw, the man can more than take care of himself. And if it’s not—a clone perhaps, or something else entirely—then it’s of no consequence to Nihlus whether it lives or dies.

Returning to his omnitool and curious about the name, he searches a human database for the unfamiliar word. What he finds sends a chill through his carapace. A fable about a man named Lazarus being brought back from the dead can be no coincidence considering what Nihlus has learned about the project. The implications are enormous if they have actually succeeded in their objective.

The gunfire dies out and Nihlus climbs down from his perch, planting himself directly in front of the shuttle.

He doesn’t have long to wait.

* * *

They return looking a little worse for wear and Nihlus hones in on a weariness in Shepard’s step that he’s trying hard to disguise. When Shepard looks up and sees Nihlus, his footsteps falter and then stop completely. He stands and stares and the other two fall in line behind him.

“Commander?” the human female asks and then looks up in the direction of Shepard’s gaze. She’s quick to draw her pistol, but Shepard’s reaches out, pushing the gun down.

“I need five minutes alone with Spectre Kryik,” Shepard says without taking his eyes off Nihlus.

She doesn’t answer immediately, making Nihlus wonder who’s in charge of whom. “Of course, Commander. Jacob and I will wait in the shuttle.” The two move past Nihlus, both of them giving him a wide berth and a leery eye.

When they’re gone, Shepard waves his head away from the shuttle and turns without a word. Once they’re out of earshot, Shepard turns. “I expect you have questions.”

Nihlus doesn’t hesitate to ask, “On Noveria, what was my comment about the Rachni queen?”

Shepard’s eyebrows raise, as if that were a question he hadn’t anticipated. “You said she’s beautiful and you hope she finds a place to hide from the rest of the galaxy.”

He nods and then asks, “And on the Citadel, we met Garrus and Tali for a drink. What did we talk about?”

Shepard smiles at the memory, “Film Noir movies from 1930’s Earth. Pogo sticks and hula hoops. The difference between carnivals and circuses. Why clowns are disturbing. Why the back of cereal boxes can either be great or horrible. And how it is that hanar porn is so popular with humans.”

Nihlus nods again, breathing a little easier. “When did you first kiss me?”

Shepard’s smile widens. “Intai’sei. We went to have a look at the house I won from Ahern. Had a party for the crew. You and I went up to the roof and watched the sunset and I told you I hadn’t watched a sunset in so long I hardly remembered what they looked like. And then you looked at me with those beautiful green eyes and I...just couldn’t stop myself any longer. I thought you were going to kick my ass, but then you grabbed my shoulders and pinned me to the roof and we made out like horny teenagers.” A pleasant pink hue colors Shepard’s cheeks and he looks up at Nihlus. “That was one of the best days of my life.”

Nihlus steps closer, unable to resist the pull of Shepard. Longing and loneliness rumbles through his subharmonics. “And when we first mated, what did I tell you?”

Shepard places a hand on Nihlus’ armored chest. “You told me when we find Saren, after he’s been dealt with, that you’re going to take me on a long vacation to the beach of my choice and not let me out of the bed the entire time.”

“I also told you I’d never met anyone like you, and probably never will again,” Nihlus caresses Shepard’s cheek softly with the back of his finger, marking the places where the weave hasn’t had a chance to heal completely. His skin looks like chapped, dried earth, with hints of lava boiling just under the surface. “Shepard. Do you believe you’re you?”

“I...I don’t know,” he sighs heavily. “I remember something of what happened over Alchera—getting Joker into the escape pod and then there was an explosion and I was floating in space. I think there was a leak in my air hose? After that, there’s nothing.” He pauses for a moment, searching Nihlus’ face. “I know you, Spectre Nihlus Kryik. And holding a sniper rifle feels like home. But...my skin feels different. Tight. My muscles don’t always want to move the way I want them. And gods my feet _ache_. Like, ‘seriously could soak them for a week’ ache.”

“What about this Cerberus crew? Do you trust them?”

Shepard shakes his head. “No. I don’t understand why they’ve done what they’ve done, or what they’re up to beyond this business with the Collectors and the human colonies going missing. The Illusive Man is slick as snot, but he’s put me in charge to find out what the Collectors are up to, so I’ll take advantage of that while I can. They’re probably listening to everything I say, recording everything I do. I could—” he pauses and looks at Nihlus closely. “Wait. Why are you here?”

“I have some algorithms set up to watch for anomalies. The Collectors have been popping up a lot lately. More than they have in the last hundred years. Got word this place had gone quiet after a distress call and I was close by. Headed over to take a look. Saw you get off that shuttle and nearly had a heart attack. Shepard,” Nihlus can’t stop himself, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close, “I’ve missed you.”

Their armors clack and scrape together as Shepard’s arms are suddenly around his back. “Nihlus, I—”

“Shut up.” Nihlus kisses him then, desperate and shaking, trying not to press his mouth plates too hard and yet wanting to envelop Shepard within himself entirely. Two years is a long time to wait, but it could have been worse. It could have been never again. Eventually they seperate, but only so Nihlus can press his forehead to Shepard’s. “I won’t let you lie in the belly of _this_ beast alone. You need someone at your back. I’ll tell the council—”

But Shepard shakes his head. “No. Nihlus. It’s bad enough Cerberus has their claws in me. I couldn’t bear it if they had you in their pocket as well. I just saw Tali. She’s here. And she...the doubt she had about me. She didn’t even ask if I wanted to be working with Cerberus. The distrust in her voice. People are going to think you’re in on it, that you’re working with them too—”

“Fuck them, Shepard.” Nihlus pulls him tighter, his hands holding tight to Shepard’s arms. “When have I ever cared about what other people think?”

Shepard seems to sag in his arms, just a little, and he sighs as he hugs Nihlus back. “I thought you moved faster on your own?”

It burns having those words of bravado teasingly repeated back at him. “Maybe I can. Maybe I don’t want to.”

“If you’re sure—”

“Never been more sure of anything in my life.” He steps back, activating his omnitool. “At some point you’re going to head for the Citadel. When you do, let me know and I’ll come aboard. I have a few things to take care of in the meantime.” He sends his updated contact information to Shepard’s omnitool. “Plus I’ll need to dock my ship.”

Shepard nods and checks his omnitool, sending his own information back. “Fine. Alright. I can’t lie that I don’t want you with me. I don’t know when we’ll get there. As far as I know we don’t have a ship—”

“It’s Cerberus. They’ll give you a ship. Probably something top of the line to advertise their superiority over the rest of the galaxy. What did you call it? Cerberus’ Big Dick Energy?”

Shepard’s bark of laugh is a pleasant sound. “Yeah. Ceebeedee’ee.” He takes one more lingering look before backing away. “Don’t get dead in the meantime. We have some catching up to do.”

“Right back at you, Shepard.” He watches as Shepare hops about the shuttle and gives him a final wave before closing the door. The shuttle’s engines fire and it lifts off taking the man Nihlus loves along with it.

 _Next time,_ Nihlus thinks. _Next time I’ll tell him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, if you don’t stop to chitchat with Ash or the settlers, there’s plenty of time to catch up and save Nihlus. Not in game, of course, but who said cannon had the last word, anyway?
> 
> Also I made this into a series because I love them so much.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
